With the Best Drama Golden Globe going to Brokeback Mountain, it looks like a main contender for Best Picture at the Oscars too. Which means there's one group of people heaving a huge sigh of relief tonight.
No, not The Log Cabin Republicans. I'm talking about the Adult Movie Industry. Year after year, Hollywood's output provides fertile ground for the makers of top class porn, and a story about gay cowboys is going to be right up their back alley.
All of which is the only excuse I need to look through the YesButNoButYes DVD library, and bring you the Top Adult Versions of the last ten years' Academy Award Winners.
2004 - Million Dollar Baby/Million Dollar Booty
This one must have given the filmmakers quite a challenge - Hillary Swank is hardly a role model for young starlets. But luckily the title was all that was needed to get the (creative) juices flowing in a 4 hour extravaganza of below the belt activity.
2003 - Lord Of The Rings/Whore of the Rings
According to the box, “Whore of the Rings is all anal epic tail of sprawling proportions with a Superstar cast”. Obviously a slightly different definition of 'Superstar“ than Peter Jackson might understand.
2002 - Chicago/Chicago XXX
I have to admit that I haven't seen either of these movies, and - given a choice - I think I'd have to select the one featuring Kandi Kreme over the one starring Richard Gere.
2001 - A Beautiful Mind/A Beautiful Sexy Mind
The wonderful thing about this cover is that it simply screams ”Look at my beautiful sexy mind - no, hey, up here, my mind, MY MIND!!“
2000 - Gladiator/Private Gladiator
Now, this is more like it. Private Gladiator goes all out to bring us the authentic taste of roman orgies and hitched togas, in an historic orgy unmatched since Peter O'Toole and Sir John Geilgud didn't read the script properly for Caligula.
1999 - American Beauty/American Booty
”When Monique rents out her spare rooms to some studs from grad school, Midori gives in to her desires and discovers the pleasure of the good neighbor policy“. That's what I always say, love thy neighbor. Especially if she's naked with a red rose up her butt. My second favorite DVD cover of the Oscar parodies.
1998 - Shakespeare In Love/Shakespeare Revealed
Maybe this isn't a parody, maybe it's an official sequel. I mean, that DOES look a bit like Gwyneth after all. Unless, of course, Shakespeare himself was a hot platinum blonde in high heels.
1997 - Titanic/Titanic Tits
”If your looking for big boobs, this flick is the way to go, with an international cast of huge hootered legends.“ This, of course, is my favorite cover - simple aesthetic genius, in both image and title.
1996 - The English Patient/Hot English Punishment
I have to admit - maybe the resemblance is all in my mind, because parody would certainly be too strong a word for this one. But full marks for an inventive title. And, as an Englishman, I can indeed confirm the hotness of a good spanking.
1995 - Braveheart/The Scottish Loveknot
I thought I was going to be defeated on the final movie until Google supplied me with liner notes that claim The Scottish Loveknot is like ”Braveheart on Ecstacy“. Good enough for me.
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You left out Pirates of the Caribbean/Pirates, one of the greatest duos of all time. A sweet movie and a godly porn.
I believe the classic "Glad He Ate Her" is the better choice for "Gladiator".
How about Shaving Ryan's Privates?
no of these beats back door sluts 9! ;p
What about "lord of the g-string" it was only soft core but way cooler
As far as I know, neither Pirates of the Caribbean, nor Saving Private Ryan won an Oscar for Best Picture, which was the point of the list. It's easy to come up with a list of general adult parodies - harder to find one that matches a specific Oscar category.
And yes, I did think about "Glad He Ate Her" but couldn't find a picture of the cover.
My favorite was Space Jam/Face Jam. Look it up!
what about inspect-her-gadget?
what about inspect-her-gadget?
THE BARE WENCH PROJECT
Have you not seen the gay porn called "Lord of the Cock Rings"? That was a pretty funny title...
I believe, like many funny names, that one is an urban legend, not an actual production, unless you can produce a DVD cover.
Hmm … did such a top ten list some time ago too. My top one was "Jurassic Fuck" (never had the chance to watch it, but what I saw on the cover was fun enough to get the idea!)
What, no "Lord of the Rims" ?
No Edward Penishands?
My favorite is Spiderbabe, She shoots web from her snatch..great entertainment
Dont forget "Good Will Humping"
What about Clitoral Damage?
Other off topic titles: Forest Hump; Poke-a-hot-ass (Pocahontas); Shitty-Shitty Gang Bang; Gilligan's Asshole; The Dicks of Hazzard; Missionary Impossible; Whore of the Worlds; Sheep Impact; Schindler's Fist;
Here's a good porn title for Brokeback Mountain/Brokeback Mounting
should be "Bareback Mountain"
wheres schindlers fist?
Scary Movie/ Scary Boobie?
Fatal Attraction/ Fatal Erection
King Kong/ King Dong
The Cunt for Red October
oh, and XXX...nah, too easy
BACKDOOR SLUTS 9..OHH YEAH , WITHOUT A DOUBT THE VEST PORN EVER MADE,HOT LOVE MAKING ... ESPECIALLY WHEN the woman has 4 penises in her, and then stands above the guys and pees on them, is that love making? Five midgets beating a man covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that love making?
Sounds more like a Ruben to me....
i think the best lord of the rings parody is Lord of The G-String
...where's "Weapons of Ass Destruction?" I know it doesn't fall into this particular category, but it's still funny as hell.
There is always "Glad He Ate Her."
What? Too good to put "Lord of the Cock Rings" in there?
how about cum in 60 seconds
pretty funny isn't it
penetrate thiz
I have always enjoyed the movie title "Men and Black Men"
I like to talk about stool.
In Diana Jones is also not bad...
Cocktober Sky
Reservior Dogs (suggestive enough)
Lord of Whore
Assablanca
How about Sorest Rump? Or Mad Jack Beyond Thunder Bone? Or Harry Potty Mouth??
I think that guy up there means Men IN black men
there was also The Fockers (with ben stiller) --> the fuckers ... easy
What about "the penetrator" & "klitthanger"... ;-)
how about
dickhanger (cliffhanger)
american history sex (american history x)
gay (ray)
rucky (rocky)
hitch bitch (hitch)
and penetrate thiz is by me and not by
viscious drunk
how about
ocean's eleven/o she's eleven
black hawk down/black cock down
matrix/matrixxx reload me
kill bill/fill jill (i actually have that one and its a lame movie do not watch it)
What about Tomb Raider / Jewel Raider????
That is my favorite!!!!!!
how about Crocodile Blondee
I am a young black stud who loves sexy stuff like porn movies. I can't get enough of it. We need more of that stuff, man. I'm getting in touch with my freaky side after years of religious repression !
men in Black - Black in Men
There should be one called "Womb Raider".
I think the actual DVD covers are a lot funnier than everyone brainstorming down here.
harry pot head kinda funny huh
Nothing beats "When Larry ate Sally"
Nothing beats "When Larry ate Sally"
Muff the Tragic Drag Queen
The best one is obviously Night of the giving head, oral sex meets necrophilia. Not that I'm into that sorta shit.
don't "Forrest Hump", and i don't know if pulp fiction won an oscar, but there is a movie called "Pump Friction" as well
I can't be bothered with anything recently. I've pretty much been doing nothing to speak of. Not that it matters.