Recently Wired Magazine ran an article listing The 50 Best Robots Ever. It's quite a list, but fails so miserably on the most important law of robotics that it's not even worth mentioning. I'm referring, of course, to Scaramouch's Third Law of Robotics - All robots should have perky breasts. And so it falls to me to give you a supplement to Wired's list - The Top Ten Sexiest Female Robots.
Angelina Jolie in Cyborg 2
Before most people had even heard of Mrs. Pitt, Angelina played Casella Reese in Cyborg 2, one of her very first screen appearances. She is designed to charm her way into a corporate headquarters and then detonate, although with that kind of blueprint, I should imagine there were quite a few premature explosions in the testing phase.
Renee Soutendijk in Eve of Destruction
Now, I know the picture above makes her look like a pyscho monster, but in the film she actually plays a pyscho ROBOT monster, albeit in a hot red leather jacket. So, she qualifies.
Winona Ryder in Alien: Resurrection
Winona appears as the robot Call in the mostly awful fourth Alien movie. To say her performance is stiff is not actually a compliment on her ability to play artificial life forms, and this is the one that almost didn't make the list. But Winona's such a hot chick in general, I gave her a free pass.
Pamela Gidley in Cherry 2000
When a man's cyborg wife starts showing the blue screen of death, he enlists the aid of mercenary Melanie Griffiths (yes, you read that right) to track down spare parts. Along the way he falls for Melanie in a heartwarming tale of how flesh and blood love beats robot sex. Which would be a little easier to take if the robot in question wasn't as gorgeous as Pamela Gidley.
Elizabeth Hurley in Austin Powers 2
The purist would argue that classing Hurley's character Vanessa as an evil fembot is revisionary nonsense used as a throwaway gag at the start of Austin Powers 2, but it's hard to believe that a body like that doesn't have at least some silicon embedded along the way. Let's just take all the other fembots as included here, too.
Tricia Helfer in Battlestar Galactica
I've said it before, but it bears repeating - Battlestar Galactica is one of the best dramas on TV, and Tricia Helfer as Cylon #6 makes it even more watchable.
Sean Young from Blade Runner
Before the days when Sean took to dressing up as Catwoman and leaving dead voodoo cats on James Woods' doorstep, she was the replicant hottie in the seminal Blade Runner. Does a replicant qualify as a robot? In this case, yes it does, or I would have had to scraped the bottom of the barrel with The Stepford Wives to fill out the Top Ten.
Kristanna Loken from Terminator 3
Here's a good example of The Steve Jobs Law, which states that each iPod shall be sexier than the last and give you instant buyers remorse. By comparison, the 3G Terminator has exactly the kind of touch sensitive click wheels you want to constantly shuffle with small circular motions.
Rosie the Robot
French maid outfit, obeys your every command - what's not to love?
Dorothy Stratten in Galaxina
Let's end with Playmate Dorothy Stratten in her largest screen role. No doubt she would have gone on to bigger and better things, if she hadn't been murdered by her husband shortly before the film's premiere. IMDB ironically notes that this caused “a slight increase in attendance”.
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I figure you hated, hated, hated the idea of picking TWO replicants from Blade Runner, but Daryl Hannah is worth it (and Rosie . . . dude). I've had a soft spot for her ever since she got Harrison Ford's head in an inner thigh lock.
What's ironic about the murder causing a slight increase in attendance? If the movie was about a murder, THAT would have been ironic.
Yes, you're right. Ironic was the wrong word, I think I meant to say 'wryly" or something like that.
Why is it everyone else has the correct pic except for the Cyborg 2 with Angelina? Looks like the pic of her in Gone in 60 Seconds
*sigh* you're too old to remember Julie Newmar in "My Living Doll," a 60s sitcom. (she was turned on and off by pressing a beauty mark on her back). Just, please, do a GIS for Julie Newmar and you'll get the idea...
er, make that you're too YOUNG
(note to self, mr. preview button is your friend!)
Sorry about the one wroing pic - Cyborg 2 is the only one on the list I haven't actually seen, so I just believed the website I lifted it from.
For those that are interested - I found real Cyborg 2 pictures here:
http://es.geocities.com/angie_movies/cyborg2.htm
Where is Buffybot from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? :(
You also forgot the very FIRST robot vixen - - - the Anti-Maria robot from "Metropolis." She was the greatest ever, because of three things:
1) she was a German (and you KNOW what they'll do for a visa! Think Melania Krauss-Trump)
2) she cockteased and almost seduced and entire FACTORY full of men - all at once! (tell me what supervisor YOU know who looks like that - most female middle management broads are UGLY as SHIT)
3) she killed herself once she realized she was no longer of value (ah, to find a woman like THAT)
Now THIS was the perfect female robot!
What? No Jeri Ryan as Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager?
Ok, so she was actually a human who was assimilated (Borg-ified), but come on, those skintight body suits...
You stupid fuck, you forgot that little girl robot from that shitty 80's T.V. show.
Whoah there Tom. You're not supposed to tell people that little girls are sexy to you man. That kind of thing can get you in trouble.
haha... i think the show was called "small wonder".
OK, so where is the ghost in the shell babe? This list is lamesaurus... non stop even...
I love Battlestar Galactica, but you actually think Number Six is sexier than Boomer?
What about that sexy android 18 on dbz? Or the robot chick on big-o? When will sexy robots actually be for real?... Should I start saving up or is it like those flying cars that never materialize?... that is what we all truthfully want to know. What's the scoop?
To be honest, I did start out liking Boomer more but since she got knocked up, she's been such a whiner, I've gone right off her. She seriously needs a reboot if you ask me.
And to the person who suggested Jery Ryan, no, not on the list as she's no more a robot that The Bionic Woman.
Lindsay Lohan is a robot right, she doesn't change facial expressions. http://lohanfacial.ytmnd.com/
how could you forgot kelly le brock from WEIRD SCIENCE? she was smokin!
how could you forget kelly le brock from WEIRD SCIENCE? she was smokin!
What about Lexa Doig and Brandy Ledford from Andromeda?
what about the robots in the spy who shaged me??? man did i play with myself durring that scene!
OOoowee girls why guns in their tits... im with you G ..
Yancy Butler. Mann and Machine. And yeah, Boomer is way hotter than #6. Not that I wouldn't hit that.
You forgot MARIA of METROPOLIS
Uh, guys, ironically was the right word to use there. It's situational irony.
"Where an event occurs which is unexpected, and which is in absurd or mocking opposition to what is expected or appropriate."
It's kind of sick that more people would go to see a movie after someone dies. Ironic.
Go back to middle school, guys.
Where is Galatea from Bicentennial Man ?? She must be on this ranking !!!
negative points for improper use of the word "albiet"
u forgeot seven from star trek voyager
You guys have Rosie from the JETSONS but not Jeri Ryan from Star Trek Voyager?? WTF???
You guys have Rosie from the JETSONS but not Jeri Ryan from Star Trek Voyager?? Be for real!
SEVEN OF NINE IS A CYBORG, NOT A ROBOT!!!!
Sigh :)
No mention of The Stepford Wives, eh? Maybe they don't count as robots.
What about the entire remake of the Stepford Wife... just look at the cover of the DVD
re top ten sexy robots - what about Seven of Nine from Star Trek?
What about Six from "Tripping the Rift"?
Both Gina Gershon and Carmen Electra have voiced that babe. Plus she's got the best CGI tits I've ever seen!
This is a good list, but you've all forgotten the sexiest robot ever: Bjork in her music video 'All Is Full of Love'. Check out LucidSkin.com for undeniable proof. :) -Jeff
okay, one more -
bjork in the "all is full of love" video (sexiest robot ever, easy)
I actually met Bjork once - spent the morning in her kitchen while we shot an interview with her.
The babe from Andromeda blows away all the others! I just wish she would blow me!
Has everyone forgotten about Ashley Scott as Gigilo Jane from A.I.: Artificial Intelligence? A short role, but definately sexy, no?
Seven-of-Nine is a cyborg, so that's why she wasn't listed.
Tom gets funniest comment (lmao), with Awesome getting second honors :)
Boomer (Grace Park) and Number Six (Tricia Helfer) are both hot, just in their own unique way.
Yancy was/is hot, but she's mean when she get a drink or twenty. Too risky me thinks.
Lastly, Kelly Le Brock was definately hot in Wierd Science.
I cannot believe that no one has mentioned THE sexiest robot ever. Sofia Shinas as Valerie 23 from The Outer Limits. Don't believe me, look at this picture: http://meanangel.bloguje.cz/66621_item.php
They skipped Lucy Liu in SKY CAPTAIN & WORLD OF
TOMORROW - a very sexy lady and eveil robot. But
my real beef is where are the male robots? Why
only female? How Sexist. Here's the first and best on my list of male robots - from Spielberg's
A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - jUDE lAW as the
pleasuring 'Joe' a robot whose existence was to
deliver pleasure that surpassed the human experience and all you have to do is let yur mind
wander a little bit to understand what he is
capable of.
They skipped Lucy Liu in SKY CAPTAIN & WORLD OF
TOMORROW - a very sexy lady and eveil robot. But
my real beef is where are the male robots? Why
only female? How Sexist. Here's the first and best on my list of male robots - from Spielberg's
A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - jUDE lAW as the
pleasuring 'Joe' a robot whose existence was to
deliver pleasure that surpassed the human experience and all you have to do is let yur mind
wander a little bit to understand what he is
capable of.
Actually it was Bai Ling in Sky Captain not Lucy Lui. And Bai Ling was definately yummy in Playboy but she wasn't sexy in the movie.
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wait, no futurama references?
hm, damn, theres a ton in that show for this list.
alas, you probably dont like futurama.
you, you person you.
White babe sucking cock while her boobs get touched