This story is in part what I have become since 9-11-2001.

On 9-11-2001, I made two unusual purchases. I purchased a little over 1000 share futures of Light Sweet Crude Oil when it was locked in at $27. I sold off a few blue chip stocks my father had purchased back in the early 70s for me, these being United Airlines and MGM stock, both of which are mostly toilet paper. As of today, my modest investment quarterly brings in what the inital purchase price was.

The other investment was to take $25,000 and buy into a small flag company here in Chicago that originally wanted $50,000 (They make banners, etc. and American flags of all shapes and sizes). I became an immediate partner, although only on paper. I did this by quickly selling off a house (left to me by the same father when he died) to my greedy irresponsible brother (who since could not keep up the payments, and I re-purchsed back from the bank).

Within one week this company was making quadruple the orders for flags of all shapes, all sizes, stickers, those silly yellow ribbon magnets for cars, etc. Our profits went up 300% by the end of the year and have shown no signs of falling.

I am the American dream come to life - I was lucky, a bit greedy, and came to see that out of this tragedy came a blind and fierce 'patriotism.'

I remember the angry hateful things said by grandmothers about Arab-Americans, and how EVERYONE almost on every street corner trotted out their effigys to burn and 'Saddam Toilet Targets,' and how most of us blindly went rah-rah a few weeks later when Bush spoke of "we'll get those monsters and we'll show them and we'll use force to destroy them," etc.

All the while, I knew there was something wrong. I immediately questioned the motivation for the "attacks," and who did them. Didn't we support the Iraqi people back in ther late 70's and give billions of dollars of weapons to Saddam? How was Iran now our ally and Iraq the bad guy? Didn't we help the Afghani people back in the 1980s for almost a decade to keep the russians out? How did they become our enemies?

Well, all of a sudden I was a scumbag, and I wasn't "patriotic" and wasn't my lack of blind allegiance to Bush an act of terrorism all to itself?

I love this country. I was born here, took the slings for not being White enough in Catholic school, served in it's military, went to college, understood what really keeps America's cogs flowing, and invested in it, all the while working two jobs, losing a wife and for a time living on the street.

I saved every penny, invested heavily in a lot of things, started to become independently well-off, and kept re-investing.

9-11 was a deadly day for a lot of people, but it was the day our invicibility was tested, and we failed miserably the days and weeks afterwards.

We believed the lies of people who were paid to lie, we gave our children so that they could die for that lie, and most of all, the thing that hurts me the most, is that I see the flags of those same dead "heroes" at least once a day on my computer as I go about wandering around in cyberspace.

These are the images you don't see on TV, the ones the liars don't want you to know about, as long as you are rah-rahing from the stands with your Super-Sized soda in one hand and a cigerette in the other, and you DON'T QUESTION WHAT THE AUTHORITIES TELL YOU IS THE ABSAOLUTE FUCKING TRUTH, SO MOVE ON, MOVE ON, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

I travel around the country, and see the same dulled look, the ones of those who feel cheated and defeated, and whenever I'm in a bar (or wherever), talking to a guy who brings up how great we've got it because 9-11 brought us together as a country and all of that crap, I ask him "how?"

Racial crime is through the roof, paranoia is EVERYWHERE, people are even more short-tempered, people are dropping dead from heart attacks and other illnesses, and the teeter-tottering malaise/hysteria is only getting worse.

America? I give it another 10 years, tops. Just like Pan-Am, and Ford, and GM, and Enron, and Eastern, and all the other things handed over to inept billionaire's children, it will also be run into the ground.

I love this country, I've sweated for it, and bled for it, but how can I love a 200+ year social experiment when I KNOW it's going to FAIL? Am I unpatriotic if I scream that the brake lines are cut on this runaway train and we're going to crash?

People who tell you you're wrong for not believing in this country are wealthy - not rich, like me, but friggin WEALTHY - and want you to not question it, because you take away from their investment equation. The bottom line is their flag, and they won't let you hold it.

I repeat...would you like to invest in a toy-themed furniture company?

Jell, jell, Jell...

There will be no use for toys once this country has been completely sieved of it's resources and the corporations all leave for Mexico or other points East (re: our towel wearing 'brothers' in India who wil also workfor a few Rupees a day), with the only thing left in this mindless wasteland maze of a country are it's used-up consumers.

Besides, no one's planning to dive-bomb a 757 jet into the FAO Schwartz anytime soon... or is there??? Hmmmmmmmmmm...

Has Bush or his other cronies bought any Toys-R-Us stock lately?

Jell, maybe we should talk. An investment MIGHT be in order.

Or a rapidly growing pop culture blog network?

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I'm listening to a mash-up of Ashlee Simpson and Van Halen's "I'm Talkin About Love," and it's not too bad.

Blogs could become the bathroom confessionals of the future.

...

Wait, the future's already here!

This blog rocks. Why don't I annoy anyone else as much as you guys? I - don't - know.