Congratulations! And awesome. And of course she wanted you.
YGA

Congrats, man! You probably mentioned you were a blogger right? That's why she was so into you.

Thank you sir (and you as well, GA). I did mention I blogged, and she asked if I had a Wed Comics column. That's when I knew I was out.

PS: I do know this is obnoxious, so apologies all around...I blame Jose Cuervo, the over-abundance of bars near 18th and 10th, and an otherwise mundane and trivial existence.

At least you've touched a woman.

What was it like?

(Johnny spins the Glock around in his hand using the trigger finger all Gary Cooper-like from the darkness of his bunker, stares into the cathode ray of the computer screen, and then sighs and types some more)

Golly, I'm envious. Really. All I can think of is that song by The Smiths "How Soon Is Now."

Rats.

Gary Cooper? What's next, a Harold Lloyd reference. Dude, call us when you're done doing the charleston.

And I'd hold off on the envy until Amex stops sending me death threats. (but I will let you buy me multiple rounds if I go to the Chicago furniture show in the spring. I'll even call you a cab after your third appletini)

Well, when you're done hitching from NY to get here, I'll leave my 'older' 20 condo 5-flat (which I own) and I'll drive over to the Pacific Garden Mission and wait outside for you - but I won't go in!

Another thing, I don't drink, that's for the masses. So is religion, and the other various dependencies one needs to justify their silent miserable existence. I've got other recreations to get my mental rocks off, like clicking a mouse and making $4000.

One more thing - how did an icon get reduced to a reference? If you have a problem with anything related to Gary Cooper, try to picture this - there's was this thing called "BLACK AND WHITE FILMS" that existed before your generation came along and made anything before 1982 irrelevant, EXCEPT when your older brother/sister/sexual abuser showed you that once, in this great land, there were these toys and items that once required a BRAIN to use (in between your diddlings, of course).

Jell, Jell, Jell, it sounds like you weren't abused very properly. Maybe you would be doing more than making those big, big toys that remind you of when you were 4, swallowed, and couldn't play with what was on the adult's table.

Is this why you made those things?

Hmmm, sounds like that visit to the psychologist may be due after all. I'll pay for the taxi ride home if you get tipsy after those 4 Rorschach tests.

Great stuff. I get Cargo. I notice lots of well-designed goods, but few designers. Will you be occupying that last page? I'll hang that on my wall.

After checking out Cargo's website, by the way, if they're putting you in for a layout of your works, you must be one talented fuck. Some of the works and designs I saw there were very masterfully done.

I take back most of what I've said to you, from a talent scale. I can't even use Play-Doh correctly.

However, if they ever had a "Despots Monthly" Magazine, my phone would be ringing off the wall. I make Trump look like a piker, and I don't have to lie to get the deals done like he has about his lack of venture capital.

Kudos, dude, it's always the tortured ones who get the Mona Lisas.

ok, who replaced Johnny with a pod person. Dude, no need to take back anything. I enjoy the digs back and forth. Hope your not taking offense. And as for me being talented, I'm forty and I play with toys.

I'm 41 and I sit on a bag of money, and all I do is spend minor btis of it, re-invest it, and then I get bored of my 15-minute work day on the computer, surf the web, call in to local college radio shows and annoy the shit out of them.

I'm coming to NYC in March for a few days... maybe we can go out and shoot at the bums with paintball guns?

As George Takei would say, "Oh, my."

And he's gay.

Sounds good. You're buyin'.