#10: Celebriducks

...because I'm more of a shower guy.

#9: Anything from the Suicidal Santa collection

...because I was hoping for something from the homicidal elf collection

#8: Scrolling LED Belt Buckle

...because it's ok, but it's not like it should be advertised in flashing lights, or anything.

#7: Rubber bearskin rug

...because if I don't want a real one...

#6: Yes, You're Probably Dying Interactive Greeting Card

...because a hypochondriac's guide to worst-case scenarios is not a god idea...trust me.

#5: Cheech & Chong head holiday lights

...because I don't need the nightmares

#4: Santa kneeling before the Baby Jesus figurine

...because I'm pretty sure this never happened.

#3: Model 1938 Red Rider BB Gun

...because I'd shoot my eye out.

#2: Hung for the Holidays

...because I got it on iTunes already.

#1: Official George Bush serving turkey to the troops action figure

...just because.

Previous 12 Lists of Christmas Entries
#1 - Top Ten Christmas Villains
#2 - My Ten Favorite Christmas Flicks
#3 - The Totally Tasteless Top Ten
#4 - Top Ten Rankin Bass Narrators
#5 - Ten Classics from my Mom's Record Collection
#6 - Ten Exercises in Tasteful Understatement
#7 - Ten Alternative Christmas Wraps
#8 - Top Ten Tastes of Christmas
#9 - Top Ten SNL Christmas Sketches