After watching every episode of the first three editions of The Apprentice, I was all Trumped out. But I managed to catch a few minutes tonight. Remember all the great rewards? Meet George Steinbrenner at Yankee Stadium; hoop it up with the Knicks; have dinner in Trump's apartment. Well, they must have run out of ideas.

Tonight's reward? Head out to White Plains for some face-to-face time with former game-show contestant Bill Rancic. That'd be like rewarding the 1996 Bayside High valedictorian by setting up a meeting with Assistant Principal Screech.

Here's what you missed:

Rancic: If you guys have any questions, this is your time to, you know...You can ask me anything you want.

Kiss-Ass Contestant I'm Shocked Was Cast: [Voice-Over] He works with Mr. Trump every day, so he really understands what Mr. Trump is looking for in an apprentice.

Rancic: I think passion. I think you've got to be creative. You've got to think outside the box. And you want to be innovative. You know, you want to be able to come up with fresh ideas. And...actions speak louder than words. And you know I know Donald Trump is a firm believer in that. It's about delivering the victories.

Kiss-Ass Contestant I'm Shocked Was Cast: [This time kissing ass right to Rancic's face, not in a confessional taped at a later time] Good words of wisdom.

So, to summarize, the qualities Mr. Trump is looking for in an apprentice are the same qualities required for almost every advertising job on craigslist, a TV weatherman, or Sophomore Class President.

As a ratings stunt, they both should have been fired on the spot, and Rancic should have been forced to turn over his "Apprentice '04" sash and tiara.