Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
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chuck norris used his formliy invented time machine to go back in time again to the jack the ripper period, in which he conered jack in a dark alley way and YELLED IM THE RIPPER and the shitter jack turned around to a roundhouse to the face and was killed instantly
I once booed Chuck Norris on one of his movies and he jumped out the T.V screen and gave me a Kiss
The term 'hung like a horse' came from chuck norris and his notoriously large dong he carried around in his past life as a horse. even as a horse no one messed around with the chuck stallion. If they did, they would get two hooves to the face, which was the equivalent to his roundhouse kick from Walker Texas Ranger.