Animal House
Take one Fraternity President with his sorority girlfriend, add a convertible, a moonlit night and a pair of pink dishwashing gloves, and you have the makings of a beautiful moment of screen romance.

Silence of the Lambs
He shoots...HE SCORES!!! There are many gross out moments in the most famous of the Lecter chronicles, but none can really compare with the moment Clarice Starling is hit in the face with the full frustration of inmate Miggs as she walks past his cell after conferring with the good Doctor.

Midnight Express
Possibly the least erotic topless sequence in any movie before or since (although that, too, would make a great Top Ten list). Brad Davis as Turkish prison inmate Billy Hayes gives new meaning to the phrase “conjugal visit” when his american girlfriend pays a visit.

There's Something About Mary
You know - that happened to me once too, the whole “now where the hell did that semen go?” thing. It's freaky, it's kind of like losing your keys, only they don't beep when you clap your hands.

American Pie
Of course, one sure way to keep control of your seminal fluids is to put a tube sock over it.

Boogie Nights
There are a few ways to make some extra cash - a night shift at MacDonalds, selling those old CDs on eBay, setting up a Million Dollar Homepage. And then there's masturbating as a spectator sport in parking lots of malls across America. Free homophobic pulverizing included.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
This scene was once voted the most erotic ever filmed. Judge Reinhold sits on the john and fantasizes about Linda, his sister's friend, played by Phoebe Cates. I figured you would prefer a picture of Cates to Reinhold.

Freddy Got Fingered
Err... does it count when the recipient is an Elephant?

Bad Lieutenant
Harvey Keitel pleasures himself next to a car he's pulled over with two young female drivers in it, while he forces one to show him her ass and the other to pout her mouth. Just another day with New York's finest in the Big Apple.

American Beauty
Kevin Spacey shows that wankers can also win oscars. In the opening moments of the film, Spacey finds happiness in the shower, and later in the bed with Annette Bening.

Honorable mentions: Happiness, EdTV, Patch Adams, Psycho (the remake), The Right Stuff, Scary Movie, Spanking The Monkey.