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The YesBut Interview - Naked Cow People

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So there are these two people who hang out in Times Square. They're both very outgoing. Both seem to like country western tunes. Oh, and neither one wears pants.

You've all heard of the Naked Cowboy, right? He's been freakin' people out in Times Square for a while now. But when we saw there was a new naked kid on the block, we were curious to know how the original was taking it. Do they talk? Is a naked duo in the works? Or maybe a copyright infringement suit? We needed to know.

So, after the jump, we give you part one of Naked Cow People - The YesBut Interview. A conversation with a very sweet girl, and a very strange dude.

Oh...and if reading the naked goodness isn't enough, you can hear the audio here. Enjoy.

Jellio: OK, we have Naked Cowboy and Naked Cowgirl. Cowboy, your name is...

Cowboy: Robert Burck, German spelling.

Cowgirl: My name's Lou...short for Louisa.

Jellio: Have I got this straight? Are you two partners now?

[Silence]

Cowgirl: What do you think, Bob? I don't think we're partners.

Cowboy: I'm asked that all day long, naturally, and I'm sure she's probably asked that same question. Again, from my standpoint, I am the Naked Cowboy, and that's really the only thing I can comment on. Naturally, we have the similarity of the name. And the appearance. And, if you want to go with a society-based symbol (note: Here's where I know it's gonna be a long interview.) , it looks like we're doing the same thing. but prior to Naked Cowgirl, there was just Naked Cowboy. And, naturally, in that atmosphere you have, nothing it can be conformed to. In other words, if there's only one, there's no conformity whatsoever. And that's pretty much my thing. If you can live, create, be, do, you know, you can literally not conform to society, but still fit in with society. So you can exercise that whole ego-centric, I want to be somebody, part of your humanity. (Was that a yes or a no...gotta pay more attention.)

Jellio: So you're making a statement.

Cowboy: Well, sure. No one can so much as open a breath or even stand still without making a statement. Your existence here is a statement from God, saying that he has a purpose for you. From my point of view.

Jellio: But the statement you were trying to make, in a more public way, was one of conformity through non-conformity? (What the hell did I just ask?)

Cowboy: Well, it's not an intentional statement, so much as it was a natural unfolding of myself, you know, pursuing the dream. Well, not even pursuing the dream. Even that becomes cliche. It's like...Only in America! I'm living the American dream. And then you got a whole big class of people saying, Oh he's so cool. He's so heroic. (He's so modest) He's living the American dream! But even that becomes stigmatized. But the idea is, I'm doing what I want 24/7, and because I'm in a class of my own, there's nothing you're going to¦ In other words, we live in the know. We live in what we think and talk and act. The unknown is what we can't know. (I can't STILL be high from last night, can I?) So, to try to not be knowable is what my objective is. So, when you add Naked Cowgirl, the two together can almost seem like you can take something from her, or something from me, and make reference to the other. So that's where a conflict of interest might be, in terms of the brand. But I see it as,Naked Cowboy is Naked Cowboy and it's whoever I want to be on any particular day, and hopefully it's a universally loving and inspiring man. And I suspect Naked Cowgirl can't hurt or help or whatever. It's a complimentary thing. Because it adds to marketing value every time they see her they think of me, see me, they talk of her. There's carryover value in the market. But I would think, on a personal level, she is who she is, who she cannot not be. And whatever characteristics, attributes, personality, whatever gets attributed to her will be attributed to her. (Thank you God.)

Cowgirl: And I (Are you still here?) admire his freedom actually. That's what's so appealing about the job.

Jellio: Would you say he inspired you?

Cowgirl: I would say I was inspired.

Cowboy: And let me say, I was just literally talking to Miss Naked Cowboy about the whole thing. I was going to dominate the commercial landscape of the world, physically, financially, socially, historically, sociologically, (nakedly) physiologically, we broke it all down, wrote it all out, literally, rehearsed it on a daily basis for like, what, 12 years now. Not knowing how it would come about. But then it did come about. And in that whole process, thinking I just had to know. I know it all. I know exactly what's going to happen. (I swear, if Scaramouch put him up to this, I will kick his...) And I was just telling Mrs. Naked...her name's Cindy, that I was amazed that the Naked Cowgirl that, like Emerson says, life is a series of surprises. That was one of those things I never really planned. I always said my girlfriend, my soul mate would be the one that would do it, and that kind of thing. So to have someone come out of the blue, it truly inspired me to see her and gave just a whole new light to everything I do. Because I see, you know, you talk like Zig Ziegler (I looked it up, he wrote a book on closing the sale, or something.) in sales. The purpose of being a salesman is not to create a sale, but to create a sales force. So to see someone else acting on the impetus or the inspiration, if you will, to be out there and living that way and doing that thing and wanting a platform that no one has, and having the confidence to place your spirit upon it and live it. That is inspiring. And I know what it takes to be out there even ten minutes, with such a multi-racial, ethnic, the whole nine yards. Everything you could possibly do in a million years, it's going to walk through Times Square. The good the bad and the ugly. And if you can't be that type of personality who truly accepts everyone as they are, and you're expecting them to accept you, as you're deciding I'm going to sing and play guitar in my underwear in the middle of your block, you know, it's just a cool thing. (Jesus...my phone bill) You can say I inspired her, but she's also reinspired me. The first week she was out there, I'm out there like 6 and 7 hours in the morning, an hour in the afternoon, an hour at night. I was defending my position, like I'm so inspired someone else was in there. Like, no way, I have to be here. She's gonna be here. I'm gonna be here.

Jellio: So how long have you been doing this?

Cowboy: I'm going on almost six years now. (six and a half counting this interview) 3,257 days tomorrow.

Jellio: And does naked singing pay the rent? Or are you like, a naked accountant somewhere? (I crack myself up.)

Cowboy: That's the thing I think...where you get a considerable amount of "Hey, she's stealing your idea". You know, we live in a capitalistic, materialistic society.

Jellio: So you're trying to make this your main gig.

Cowboy: I have t-shirts, hats, pins, buttons, underwear, statues, trademarks on the name and image, I have money coming in from residuals,commercials all over the entire world. I'll be a multi-gazillionaire. Financially, the most celebrated philanthropist of all time. If she even tries, the Naked Cowgirl, if she spends enough time that she is therecognized Naked Cowgirl, she'll be a multi-billionaire a thousand times over as a result of what's gone into the series.

Jellio: It sounds like there may be room for two sheriffs in town. (wild west reference...trying to relate)

Cowboy: If you want to put it that way, metaphorically, fine.

Cowgirl: But we appeal, I think, to different groups. (maybe...maybe not)

Jellio: All right, Cowgirl. You're up. Tell me your deal. Why are you doing this? (In many, many, many fewer words)

Cowgirl: Well, basically, I just want to live a life of freedom, fun and travel. I see this as a means to get me where I want to go, do what I want to do in life. I've been doing it for about three weeks. Maybe closer to a month now. So far, so good. I'm really enjoying myself. It's the funnest job I've ever had in my life, if you can even consider it a job.

Jellio: You're new to New York City, right?

Cowgirl: Yeah.

Jellio: And how do you like New York? (I ask the hard-hitting questions.)

Cowgirl: I love New York, it's great.

Jellio: Everyone we ask about there being a new Naked Cowgirl in Times Square...they definitely think it's pretty hot. But they also ask if it's pretty illegal. And they wonder if you've had any run-ins with the law.

Cowgirl: Actually, the police love me. Legally, in New York, a woman can go topless. It's equality. If a man can walk around without a shirt on, a woman can walk around without a shirt on. And they're just boobs for god's sake. (Here, Here!)

Jellio: I'm with you. I was just wondering if the cops were as well.

Cowgirl: They are too. And they're very friendly to me, and I feel very safe having them around.

jellio: Do you sing, by the way? Like Cowboy?

Cowgirl: I do sing and play guitar, yeah.

Jellio: Question, Cowboy. Ring tones. What's the deal with that?

Cowboy: That's just another commercial license. People take the name and the image and they can use it in any way, shape or form. Ring tones is just another avenue.

Jellio: Do you use a cell phone? Where do you keep it?

Cowboy: I only don't where clothes when I'm working...I'm kidding. (oh, you nut) I say that jokingly. Naked Cowboy is the vehicle that I'm using and it has identity to it based on uniform. But I think of Naked Cowboy as my entire life, and I expect to act and play the role of who I want to be, whether I'm in clothes or not. But I don't carry my phone when I'm out there.

Jellio: No cell phone ringing. That's very understanding.

Part Two of this nonsense tomorrow. And don't forget our photo exclusive with the Naked Cowgirl starting here.

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6 Comments

The Naked Cowboy should take his 'vehicle' down the 'avenue' to Shutthefuckupsville.

said TurkeyburgerDLX on October 13, 2005 12:34 PM.

Neither of these two DILLHOLES are turly naked.

PLEASE, go back to reporting on the pseudo-fags, people who'd like to put an arrow in Bush's head, and other minor ephemera.

These two need help, but not from YOU GUYS!

C'MON! ! !

said johnny Chicago on October 13, 2005 4:31 PM.

Dillholes?

said Scaramouch on October 13, 2005 5:21 PM.

I think Johnny just gave us a compliment, in a go-fuck-ourselves kind of way

said Jellio on October 13, 2005 6:05 PM.

I just finished having lunch at an airport bar. And wouldn't you know the Naked Cowgirl was sitting next to me smoking and chugging bloody marys and I have to say that is one crazy bitch. She rambled on for half an hour about some of the dumbist shit I have ever heard. I think it was killing my brain cells. You are one strong individual to have made it through that interview.

said Tim on December 14, 2006 12:15 PM.

I just finished having lunch at an airport bar. And wouldn't you know the Naked Cowgirl was sitting next to me smoking and chiging bloody marys and I have to say that is one crazy bitch. She rambled on for half an hour about some of the dumbist shit I have ever heard. I think it was killing my brain cells. You are one strong individual to have made it through that interview.

said Tim on December 14, 2006 12:19 PM.
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