I am retarded.

60 years ago, I would have been mercy killed.

Would you have hated it?

Go Bill Clinton.

Science sucks.

I like worshipping an imaginary Casper-like thing.

When I get abortion struck down, all you bitches will be mine.

Vote fer me a-gaiun! I don't care if I can't be Prez-dent again, just vote fer me any-way!

You STUPID FUCKING SHEEP.

What's up with the framed 8x10 of Tony Blair in the background? That's a little bit gay, no?
(That wasn't my caption yet by the way.)

When Laura Bush saw this photograph, suddenly all those muffled, breathy, obscene phone calls became disappointingly clear.

I used to have a framed photo of Tony Blair on my desk, but I replaced it with the irresistable, charismatic Junichiro Koizumi.

The departure of Harriet Miers was felt in a thousand different ways.

Heightened white house security measures employ “out of the box” thinking for new telecommunications encryption strategies.

"It was unusual for Bush to talk out of his ear, most people were used to the sound coming from much lower down"

By the way, on last week's Apprentice we noticed that Donald Trump keeps a picture on his desk... of himself.

"Hello? Is this Super Cuts? Hello?"

It's inappropriate to comment on how the call is going while the call is still going on.

"Where's my Beans?"

Woken up from his mid-afternoon nap by the phone, George was a bit confused.

Strange, he usually talks out of his ass.

As nervous as it makes me to see W sitting in that chair, it could be worse, it could be Gore or Kerry!!!

"hello... Australia.."