To the bastard who stole my aging iPod off my desk at work over the weekend (on the off chance that you're reading this).

I hope you enjoy the playlist of Eurovision Song Contest Winners 1958-1983. I hope you relish the complete recordings of the Electric Light Orchestra. I hope you learn to love the extensive bootleg collection of live Chumbawamba performances.

But most of all I hope you learn to do it all in the 20 minute lifespan the battery now has when it's not connected to the AC. Those crappy first generation iPod batteries are good for something after all.