Aha, me scurvy dogs. There's an ole Pirate song that tells the story o' the good ship Venus - my god you should have seen us. The figurehead were a whore 'n bed and the mast were a half bent penis. Ahargh.

This ain't that story. It be another, even more depraved and disgustin' with wenches true, and Pirates swinging and all o' the seamen up the poop deck that any sailor could hope Davy Jones to send 'im.

Pirates XXX be released on DVD ere sunrise - it be the most doubloons ever buried into an adult movie, an' here's a taste o' the heavin' bosoms for ya. An' don't ee forget these here photographs from the Hollywood premiere, or I'll keelhaul the lot o' ya. Double rations for all. hurrah.