Here are excerpts from a couple of recent essays to enjoy at the McSweeney's Archives:
YOUR CHILDREN ARE DESTROYING THE NEIGHBORHOOD.:
"I know it is not politically correct to talk about it, but your children are terrible citizens. There is a 100 percent unemployment rate among them, and they endanger the neighborhood with their reckless behavior—running out into the streets without looking, going off with disreputable strangers and tying up the police force in fruitless searches, spreading disease with their dirty hands and mouths. They bring nothing of value to the neighborhood, and the programs that cater to their "development" plaster the subway stations and alleys with their ugly, unintelligible artwork and poetry."
"Great, now you think I'm weird. And you're about to resent me even more because there's a bunch of stuff I was supposed to mention before we got started. I got distracted thinking about how tough it was to motivate myself to even comb my hair this morning and how painful it is that no one's ever tried to tickle me. I should have also gone over some stretches, and now your rotator-cuff tendinitis will be on my conscience."
Evil Rich - Do you get McSweeney's at home? I subscribed after one of your last posts on them, in mid-July, and still haven't seen an issue.
Nah, just read the website. Let me know how it is when you get your first issue though. Don't they come out quarterly or something?
I'll do some research. I guess treating you like the McSweeney's Customer Support Guy isn't the way to go about this.