Résumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live.

On this date in 1893, Dorothy Rothschild was "a late unexpected arrival in a loveless family" in West End, NJ.

Meet the Dorothy Parker Society in the lobby of the Algonquin tonight to celebrate her birthday. Open to the public. Birthday toast at 7 p.m. (I recommend their Dorothy Parker Martini - it'll put hair on your chest.) This evening will be the last performance of “The Talk of the Town” show in the Oak Room.