We just passed the 11-Year Anniversary of Milton Ross' termination, which he earned by pissing in his office coffee pot. Because I work in an office whose coffee tastes like piss, I was inspired to share this tale, and make you think twice before blaming a shitty office coffee machine for your nasty java.

The coffee just didn't taste right, so workers at Wire Rope of America in St. Joseph, Missouri, set up a hidden camera to find out why. What they found was a co-worker using the coffee pot as a urinal. The man, who was said to be feuding with other workers, was fired, but a company official declined to say if the dismissal was related to the coffee pot incident.

The story gets weirder:

The next day, in Lanagan, Mo., 200 miles south of St. Joseph, four arrests were made after witnesses reported seeing men urinating into the town's water supply. Residents were advised for more than a week to boil their water.

Drink up. By the way, this post's title is the result of my laziness, as I couldn't think of anything suitable (every combination of "What are they putting in the water out there?" was explored). How To Lose Friends And Alienate People is Toby Young's 2003 autobiography about life inside Conde Nast. It's on my "to read" list on its great title alone.

This should rile up the soccer fans. Eddie Staples, contributing to The Wall Street Journal's Best of the Web Today, termed the sport "communist football." He makes a compelling comparison:

In both soccer and communism...

No one understands the rules.

Workers are prohibited from using the tools that would let them be more productive (hands).

From time to time petty bureaucrats (officials) interfere with play in such a way as to limit production.

Players, coaches, officials and fans are all fully involved (employed) and yet output is minuscule.

Any production is met by celebration all out of proportion to its objective value.

Followers are slavishly (religiously?) devoted to the system and their own brand of it and resort to violence at any criticism of either.

At which person, organization, hobby or ethnicity will I take my next totally unprovoked swing?

Words fail me on this one - it was a story just too bizarre not to share. This poster will be distributed to 5000 catholic bishops next week to aid in their recruitment drives. Holy mother of God.

One things for sure, he doesn't need ritalin.

Funny Google Shirt

Not offered by the YBNBY store.

Post your suggestions in the comments.

My eternal thanks to Entertainment Weekly's Popwatch site for alerting me to the upcoming Apprentice Cruise. The Donald isn't going to be attending, nor Omarosa, but you WILL get to hobnob with up to 15 previous cast-members, who, from the sound of it, just can't WAIT to get on board and meet their fans:

Stacie J (above, 4th from left) says:

I'll be taking some [seasickness] medicine to prevent me from throwing up on them.

While Jennifer C (Above, 2nd from left) comments:

It's definitely going to be a challenge. I'm biting my tongue.

And Raj (thankfully not pictured above) says:

I think I will answer the first 150 questions and that will be it. A stiff Scotch will be required.

You can read more of their comments here. Hoo boy, sign me up - because that sounds like $5000 well spent.

Andrew Sullivan, Conservative columnist/blogger, has been asking readers to send in ideas for anti-SUV bumper stickers after posting a link to this Newsweek article about America's dependence on Saudi and Iranian oil.

Here are some of the bumper sticker slogans he's received:

- Osama Loves Your SUV
- How many soldiers-per-gallon does your SUV get?
- U.S. troops died for your SUV -- Drive it proudly.
- Graphic of Osama: "LUV your SUV!"
- I'm funding terrorists, ask me how.
- SUV: Killing Americans at home and abroad
And one positive one:
- Support the troops? Buy a hybrid.

Got any ideas to send in to him?

(Full disclosure: I own a Hyundai Santa Fe, a smallish SUV with decent gas mileage but an SUV nonetheless)