Every once in a while when I need a good laugh I peruse the essays at McSweeneys.net. Tonight I found a couple of funny ones that fall under the wedding theme.

The first one is entitled "Bawdy Best-Man Speeches, Given by the Actual Best Man on Earth at the Time" which features Best Man speeches given by MLK, Gandhi, and Jesus.

I have a dream that one day ... Bill Stanley will actually commit to a woman! Joking, joking.

The second is "The Internal Monologue of a Progressive-Rock Fan Choosing His Wedding Song".

All right. Here we go. Wedding song. Wedding song. Something epic. Big song for the biggest day of my life. An anthem. No half-assed "You're My Best Friend." Bigger. "Bohemian Rhapsody," if anything. What am I saying? Queen? Sorry, guys, just because you write one long song doesn't make you progressive. I mean, that would make "Stairway to Heaven" progressive. Yeah, right. Hey, Robert Plant—you're not fooling anyone with those Tolkien-based lyrics. Frodo wouldn't "ramble on."

Go and enjoy those and the hundreds of other hilarious essays at the McSweeneys Archives.