Sesame Street's Cookie Monster has given in to pressure from the higher ups at the Children Television Workshop and will now incorporate the phrase "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food" into his regular, barely comprehensible verbage. Children's celebrity tabloids are already blaring the headlines that his career is over.

Television watchgroups have claimed that Cookie Monster is the sole cause for the obesity problem in America's Children. Sesame Street has responded to these charges by attempting to make Mr. Monster more responsible and health conscious. Expect this to be the beginning of a slow phase out in which the character becomes a minor player until his contract expires in 2008.

For more coverage of this story go to America's Respected News Source: CNN.com