’ÄúA clown can get away with murder’Äù - John Wayne Gacy

I used the Chicago flight as an opportunity to catch up on a pile of magazines I had collected over the last couple of weeks. One item of particular note formed the sidebar of the latest issue of Rolling Stone:

In more innocent days, a custard pie was the worst thing a clown had to take in the face. That was before Clown Porn, the most disturbing new entry at this year's Vegas porn convention. Clowns and hard-core sex? Expect nightmares.

Clown porn? This I had to see. At first, all i could find were people talking about Clown Porn, and it took awhile before I actually hit paydirt (Warning: NSFW). If you really feel like following it up, google lists 5070 sites to troll through.

Funnily enough however, the most interesting link I came across was Stop Clown Porn Now. And I hope my friends in the advertising industry take it as a great compliment that the first thing that went through my mind when I found this site was - ’ÄúIs this another Crispin Porter thing?’Äù

What you can't tell from the photos is that it was only a half size X-Wing. What you can tell is that it's time for a better phonecam. M&M's Mpire promotion... bit of a stretch if you ask me.

I was flying over the Great Lakes today on my way to Chicago, and a strange - I hate to say it, but unearthly - feeling came over me. Very weird. It made me think of the anecdotes I'd read from Whitley Streiber's books on Alien Abductions, and his suppositions that people have been abducted mid-flight by aliens, only to be returned with the fellow passengers knowing nothing of the incursion. Spooky.

On landing at O'Hare, while waiting to taxi into the Terminal, I was perusing the BBC news website on my Treo 650 when I came across a humorous article, detailing 10 Unusual Accidents, pulled from Department of Health records for 2004. The standard kind of filler on a slow news day. The last entry on the list reads:

10. One child was admitted to hospital after ’Äúprolonged stay in a weightless environment’Äù. He or she did not stay overnight. There are no further details about who this person was or how they had come to need treatment.

Sherlock Holmes famously said ’ÄúWhen you eliminate the impossible, the remainder -- however improbable -- must be the truth.’Äù And I started thinking of any explanation I could of how a child would spend a ’Äúprolonged stay in a weightless environment’Äù.

If anyone can think of an answer more suitable than ’Äúalien abduction’Äù, please let me know.

I'm currently blogging from a hotel room in Chicago, where I'm visiting for a two day business trip. So wouldn't you know that during probably the only two days of the year I don't walk through Times Square, they only go and land a full size X-Wing fighter. Sigh. I asked my friend Eric to take a picture with his camphone, but until that materializes, here's a snap I pulled from Gizmodo.

Which links neatly into the announcement that the 2005 Star Wars fan film awards finalists are now online. When I get to a faster connection I'll check some of them out, although I hear that Walk in a Bamboo Bush is excellent. Oh, and this may not be new to you, but I laughed my ass off at the Scout Walker Kama Sutra.

Chicks stroking metal things. This commercial actually makes me think about the possiblity of wondering about the chances of someday entertaining the thought of purchasing body spray.
(link at bottom of page)

and, am I retarded? Is this a car company, or is there actually some SUV organization I don't know about?

(nevermind...answered my own question)

Taking a break from the weekly list of online discoveries, today's top five is a tribute to a national institution...the impulse buy. There is no reason, practical or otherwise, to purchase the following five items...and I bought each one.

5) Geomag magnetic construction set

4) Barrel of Monkeys candy

3) Trick dice. (I said there was no reason, didn't I)

2) "We are happy to serve you" ceramic cup

1) The Bow-Lingual

I can't believe I just admitted that.

Fans call it the greatest invention since the catalytic converter for reducing pollutants in the environment.

Link.

My buddy Josh e-mailed me the Season 5 lineup:

Jose Canseco
Omarosa
Pepa (of Salt-n-Pepa)
Caprice
Janice Dickinson
Carey Hart

...and, my favorite, Bronson "Balki" Pinchot.

Glad to see the reality TV world has created a place reality TV stars can extend their D-level celebrity.

Read more.

In an adfreak post, I learned how much the Gap has paid Sarah Jessica Parker over the last three years.

How much?

$38 million dollars!!! That floored me. Maybe that's in line with what other celebrities are paid. Maybe. And there are a ton of women who watched Sex and the City and convinced themselves their lives were so much like Carrie Bradshaw's. But $38,000,000 is a lot of khakis.

Russell Crowe's band, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts is breaking up. Courtesy of Eonline.

There is an acedemic conference on the music of The Smiths next month in Manchester. Courtesy of BBC News.

Roxy Music has finally convinced Brian Eno to regroup for an album and tour. Surprising, considering how dismissive Eno has been of Ferry and Roxy reunion attempts in the past. The herald.

Occasionally I am reminded how powerful analog film processes can be. Justin Ouellette at Chromogenic has some phenomenal B&W work.