Charles Schultz famously wrote "Love Is....wanting to know exactly what the hell she's doing right now, and who with, including a detailed description and photographs, or written transcript, and DNA evidence if possible, that bitch."

Wait - or was that John Wayne Gacey?

Whatever, now there's a much easier way of finding out what the object of your desire is doing right now, courtesy of Dionne Warwick's Cosmic Peephole. When I asked it about myself it told me I was currently thinking about doodling naughty pictures of a fantasy Kindergarten teacher, which is so true it's just eerie.¬Ý